To Breathe

Genesis 2:7

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁷ Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.

John 20:22

New Living Translation (NLT)

²² Then he (Jesus) breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit."

Inspire comes from a Latin word that means to breathe into, or simply to breathe. So we are born inspired and we are reborn inspired. We are inspired from God and by God.

Here I am, Lord, at your feet,

Breathing in the life you've given.

Breath of God, breath of life, 

Reaching deep within my being.

All your glory set before me,

With awe and wonder I am stricken.

All my heart and soul I give you,

Holy Spirit, gift of heaven.

(http://www.biblegateway.com - I use this webpage for looking up scripture, it is an invaluable tool.)

The Dark Season

This morning when I woke up the clouds were back and I immediately felt downhearted. I realized Fall was fast approaching and with it, the dark season. It's an odd feeling, something I can't quite comprehend, but a feeling I have come to anticipate. I don't seem to be able to prevent it and I don't really want to succumb to it.

It's SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder. Although I haven't had a doctor tell me I have it, there is no question in my mind that I do. You know the expression, "It's like night and day."? I don't think that was just about something being opposite, I think it had to do with how people act and feel differently from the dark to the light.

In the past I have let this feeling stop me in my tracks. In this season of my life, in this dark season, I will take those feelings and I will make them work for me, I will use them instead of them using me! I will watch and search for the seeds of creativity. I will look for the inspiration. I will brood like a hen over these emotions. I will be like the goose that lays the golden egg. LOL. I will look for the silver lining in these clouds! (And I will look for something original to say.) ;-)

If you are reading this and you aren't affected by this phenomenon, would you pick up the phone and call someone you suspect might be. Sometimes all it takes is a friendly voice to make a difference.

With My Soul

If I seek you, will I find you,
Through the chaos of the day?
Though the world would try to hide you
Will you lead me in the way?

When I'm trembling and I'm humbled
And my world just falls apart,
Though it passes understanding,
Will your peace stay in my heart?

Though my mind is racing endless,
And my thoughts they go astray,
Will you constantly remind me
Everything will be okay?

If the world would end tomorrow,
If my fears would all come true,
If depression slays me heavy,
Will I trust in you?

No matter what my story,
Nor how hopelessly I fail,
Your mercies ever lift me
And with my soul it is well!

An Ordinary Woman

or·di·nar·y

1.

of no special quality or interest; commonplace;unexceptional: One novel is
brilliant, the other is decidedly ordinary; an ordinary person.

For the past few years I've been considering what it means to be ordinary. I've even come to accept that, indeed, that is exactly what I am. But yesterday I looked at my statement that I am just ordinary and I asked myself, "Why is it so important that I see myself as ordinary?" And I realized it is because I am afraid. I know what it feels like to disappoint people: people whom I love, people who don't really know me, people that matter to me and those who count on me. I see that if I give myself the excuse of being ordinary, I don't have to apologize for letting people down, or making a mistake. I don't have to aspire to great things and I don't have to feel devastated when I'm not the person I think I should be. And that leads me to the core of the problem: the biggest issue is my fear of what God expects from me and how fearful I am of disappointing him. So take the expectations away and you take the fear away. That is what I mean by ordinary - free of expectations.


But it's not that simple. True, I am a human being and I make mistakes, no one is perfect. I am not unlike many other people. But I am also a person God delights in and rejoices over, I am the apple of his eye, his thoughts about me are more numerous than the grains of sand, too many to count, he has adopted me into his family, and he loves me with an everlasting love. So maybe it's time to aspire to a better definition of myself. Maybe it's time to look fear in the eye and yell, "If God is for me, who can be against me!?" Maybe...? Forget that - now is the time!

Christian Women

After staring this blog, I looked up "blog" on the internet and found some networks of blogs for Christian women. I considered what that would look like if I tried to join one of them. At one time in my life I would have fit neatly into that area, but not so much anymore. I seemed to have come across a different perspective, not that I am no longer a Christian woman, God forbid, but I don't want to appear perfect because I'm not. I don't want to just write about the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I want to write about life - all inclusive. Sometimes I am deeply spiritual and sometimes I am just getting through the day.

I thought about what my priorities are, do I put God first? And my answer surprised me. If I am truly the person I want to be that's not the right question. The right question is - "Is God in me?" The answer, of course, is yes! And therefore, because God is in me, and with me, every part of my life includes God in it, even when I am struggling. I want to honor God by being honest and forthcoming, not by hiding my imperfection. He is strong enough and wise enough to handle it.

Now please don't misunderstand, I am grateful for the wonderful women who network together, sharing their faith, and I will certainly be inspired by them. It's just in this season, this is me and I pray by my being me someone else will be okay being themselves, knowing that God has not forgotten them.

Period

Periods indicate the end of a thought. And in like manner my periods indicate the end of inspiration. Just as I begin a project, or get excited about going to the gym, or start eating a well balanced diet - lo and behold my period comes and everything stops. It has taken me every effort to feel inspired enough to keep writing. I just wish that menopause would come, after all I'm 53 years old, for goodness sake! But then I question, will I find that time when I'm inspired when my hormones have settled down? I should just be thankful for where I'm at and stop wishing for things to be different. I will take advantage of my messed up hormones and take the creativity that comes with it. I will look forward to the time when I will feel inspired again.

Hold My Hand

Hold my hand when I am young
Keep me safe from hurtful things
From racing cars and barking dogs
And in the night with darkness falling.

Hold my hand when I am sweet
In tenderness and playful jests
On long walks and quiet evenings
And just because you are the best.

Hold my hand when I am wed
In the good times and the bad
In the precious joyful moments
And when no words but tears are shed.

Hold my hand in my twilight
In the joy of life proceeding
Hold my hand in my fullness
Of children's children gleefully laughing.

Rolling the Ball

You've heard the saying, you've got to "get the ball rolling?" Well, I'm okay at that, it's what comes next: Rolling the ball. So I'm jumping into this blog with both feet, building up momentum to "keep the ball rolling." My Facebook friends will have to forgive me and hopefully they won't tire of me or worse ignore me altogether. But don't we all look for affirmation and acceptance? I know I do! I think that's why I so easily get discouraged, because we are so busy trying to make it in our own lives that we don't understand the importance we have in the lives of others.

Lord, I want to take a step,
To roll the ball along the path,
To stride into the life you've kept
Preserved and hidden in your grace.

To find the key, unlock the door,
To see in truth this life you shape.
With all my heart to want you more
And from my heart reflect your light.

(Look, the wrong lines rhyme, that's why they call it poetic license.)     :)