How Sweet Would My Life Be!

How Sweet Would My Life Be!

If I could sing without fault or flaw

Or write the words that would instill awe

If I could cause the world to pause

How sweet would my life be!

If all I spoke was out of love

And all my fears I could rise above

And words could mend and heartache end

How sweet would my life be!

Only, I am here with fault and stain

And often my words come from pain

When fear is strong and hope is gone

Your grace will set me free!

Only then as I lift my voice

And with all the angels I rejoice

Then words ring true and hearts see You

For Your grace has set me free!

A Whisper at a Rock Concert

I decided to try to find my blog, (my other blog,) using a key word; and I discovered that it is next to impossible! Using just one word there were 46.5 million posts! If I only continue writing based on my significance or importance in the world wide web I'm afraid I just don't matter. I'm as lost as a whisper at a rock concert.So why should I continue? Why pour myself out onto the page? Why write what never gets read? Where do I find affirmation? Should I even try looking for affirmation? Is it important? Am I looking for fame? Are my efforts just causing me to become cynical? Should I even think about my vulnerability to being hurt by this process? Does anyone care?

Wow! What a Negative Nelly! Honestly, these thoughts do cross my mind. And I do appreciate those who comment on my blogs, but I am just beginning this part of the journey and I am trying to learn how God would direct me. Even if I have only an audience of One, right now I am in the right place doing the right thing. And I beg your forbearance as I stumble in the process. 

Right now I'm thinking about deleting this entire post, but I know those of you who care about me don't mind  hearing my struggles, and I am thankful for that. Love you guys! 

A Boy and His Dog

A boy and his dog
Went for a walk
In the morning fog

They came to a log
And decided to stop
The boy on the log
And the dog on top

They decided to talk
Tho' the dog could bark
And the log had bark
Neither the dog
Or the log could talk

So the boy and his dog
Continued their walk
In the morning fog

Next on their walk
They came to a creek
And sat on a rock

The boy started to speak
The dog started to bark
The boy took a peek
Under the rock

And their was a mouse
Who had started to squeak
From his little mouse house

The boy wanted to talk
The mouse said "squeak-squeak"
The dog said "bark-bark"
Neither the creek
Or the rock could talk

So the boy and his dog
Continued their walk
In the morning fog

The boy wanted to talk
But no one could be found
So he went back by the rock
With the mouse in the ground

And went past the creek
Past the log that had bark
But can't speak

Back to his home
Back to his room
Back to his Mom
Where he talked clear til noon!

He talked of his walk
With his dog and the log
And the creek and the rock
And the mouse in his house

And when all had been said
With his dog in his lap
He nodded his head
And they both took a nap

Sandy Blackburn 11/14/2012

What's on the Menu?

I was chatting with a friend and I was complaining about my being stuck, listing all the wonderful things I would like to be doing.

In the past I would be condemning myself for time wasted playing on the computer or watching TV. Or my poor eating habits like eating cookies or drinking tea with sweetened soy creamer. But I am allowed to do these things; I am free to do these things.

So now I look at it in a new way. I compared it to adding things to my menu. I told her I wanted to put more choices on my menu, healthier choices. So even if I add only one new choice into my day I will feel good.

Today I am adding writing in my blog. Oh, and I went back to the gym for the first time in two months! I will still play on the computer and I still have to go to work but I feel less stuck.

Tomorrow I may choose to eat asparagus with my dinner or drink water instead of pop. The choices are endless.

What will you add to your menu today?

The Realness of God

I was sitting in church after having missed three Sundays, thinking about how distant I felt from God, and how many struggles I had been facing. The songs we were singing about His greatness, His power, His glory, I had sung many times and truly felt them but this day, did I really believe it? So I began to pray. Somehow I had managed to allow my own weakness, my own doubts to diminish my view of Gods abilities. The measure of my current faith does not change Gods nature. He is God Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth. omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. My inability to know everything about Him and His ways doesn't make Him small, illusive, reclusive or even fictitious. He is knowable and I believe it is my own distraction that  prevents me from feeling His loving presence and His desire to be present in my life. Maybe I have been focusing too much on the negative spaces, the shadows, that I forget God is alive and active and willing. I do feel I am in a rut. I lack direction, motivation, joy, and a positive attitude. I find myself wanting to hide, to disconnect and just be free of stress; but what I'm finding is I don't come to any resolution, I just feel stagnant and bitter.So understanding that my minuscule faith does not diminish Gods ability, I will plant my "mustard seed" size faith and know He is able to grow it!

Silence

I just needed to post something, anything. I have been long overdue to write something. I want to come back to this. Sometimes we go off into the silence and let the noise of this life drown out any real thought we might have.

Rainy Days

Rainy days are for reading books,

and sipping tea.

They are for slippers and cozy robes

clear into early afternoon.

And they are for permission to say,

"Tomorrow is a new day."

Sandy Blackburn 2/9/12

The Song of the Broken

The song of the broken, the song of the broken, God has laid this on my heart. Will it truly become the inspiration for a new song? Or maybe just a new poem? I'm not sure. But this I know, if he is repeating it to me over and over, it is on his heart. For he hears the song of the broken, and he longs to comfort those who mourn; to lift up their chin and bring restoration and hope.

For this I am truly thankful.

Untitled

A story lies within my soul and I can't begin to write the lines.
There's life and love and joy and hope and victory over troubled times.

There's power that comes down straight from heaven and faith that stands as firm as stone.
And of this one thing I am certain, I will not write this story alone.

Menopause

M-marginal
E-erratic
N-neurosis'
O-overtly
P-plaguing
A-all
U-usual
S-sensibilities
E-effectively

Only in You

There is this soft place.
This comfort and solace.
Not found in this world.
Only in You.

I'm known there.
There is hope there.
Where peace lives.
Only in You.

Year's End

Christmas is over and the new year approaches. I find myself tremendously happy and satisfied.

We made sacrifices and worked hard to make our home warm and inviting, we gave generously to our family and poured out our love with food and gifts. Because I am married to a loving, generous man, I am learning from him every year. I choose to be generous, I choose love over worry. I know it is not the amount you spend but the choice to give of yourself, to think of others first.

I am grateful for my many blessings, especially my family, my friends, my home, and my job. I am blessed with a new son-in-law this year and the provision we had to bring our family to Hawaii for the wedding. I am at peace with this year and look forward to the next.

I pray God will touch your life. and you will know it is Him at work and remember to thank Him, not just for His blessings but for His wonderful love.

Grace and Peace,
Sandy

An Ordinary Woman: Revisited

1 Corinthians 13:1
[ Love Is the Greatest ] If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.


I was contemplating my blog and the progression of it. I find myself confronting the ordinary woman vs. the christian woman within me. I took another look at why I was drawn back to the ordinary woman and I realized it is not the term I should use to describe the shift in my move away from the super spiritual.

The desire of my heart is to be relatable. As a relatable woman, I can be transparent, I can struggle, I can have faith, and I can be unrelenting in my pursuit of God's best in my life. I can also laugh with, cry with, and love those in my life who don't yet know Jesus; without compromising my beliefs.

I haven't always known Him and I thank God for the brave souls who shared their faith with me in a way I could receive it. I will forever be blessed by their love.

God's Heart

God is good

Of this be sure

His ways are just

His motives pure

His love holds fast

Our flailing soul

When it seems

We've lost control

Our heart as gold

Refined by fire

More precious than all

That we desire

And His heart

For us is strong

To lead us all

To heaven our home

What We Will Face

What we will face
Can't be foretold
No promised bliss
As we grow old
In life are trials
That we will face
As we learn to lean
Upon His grace
And trust the One
Who gave His all
That we will stand
After we fall
That joy and peace
Do not depend
On conquering that
Which we contend
That choosing love
Is always best
And at our end
He is our rest.

I wrote this in honor of my friend and co-worker who lost her husband at the beginning of this year and is facing the holidays for the first time without him. Today was his birthday.

Out of the Grey

Out of the grey and drizzly day
The rat-a-tat-tatting on the roof
Inside of my darkened home
I fell so dreary and aloof.

Though I do not come this way
Willingly by conscious choice
So it is as I face this day
I must stand and raise my voice!

For I'd rather that, out of the blue,
Feel joy and great anticipation
Of what this day could possibly bring
Upon my further observation.

For is this not, as each before,
A day the Lord has made?
And won't He take this mourning
Giving me dancing as a trade?

So I will step out of the grey
Into the light of God my King.
And I will choose to stand and shout
And dance and jump and laugh and sing!

Today I Listened

I was working out at the gym today listening to my I-pod to Vicky Beeching singing "Listening". (Please note, I deleted my youtube links so I don't infringe on any copyright laws. Please feel free to search for them yourself.)
And I decided to listen.

What I heard God asking me was, "Did I come to judge or did I come to bring life?"

So off to Bible Gateway I go and enter in the search "give life" and "come judge". Look at John 6:33 and John 10:10. Also John 12:47.(It's important for you to see for yourself and not just take my word for it.) My conclusion is Jesus came to give me life.

So now comes the question, "Why did God ask me that question?" I have been judging my walk lately and find I am coming up short in the time with God department. I have also been judging my life and find the physical body department is also demanding much of my attention. And because I am judging myself, I assume God is judging me as well. And obviously I must be such a disappointment and I need to be changed.

I'm not specifically sure about what he means by bringing me life, but I think he is talking about focus and perspective. I am focusing on issues, he is focusing on the bigger picture. I think he wants me to know what he has for me is life giving. It is free and abundant and overflowing! It is not a downward or inward look, it is an upward and outward look.

Lord, Jesus, take my chin in your hand and lift my gaze to you. Help me remember your good and perfect gifts are what you desire to give me.

Haunted

What an appropriate subject for this month of October.

If you read my last post you know I am going through some struggles with tendinitis or specifically lateral epicondylitis (tennis elbow.) As I have been going to physical therapy two to three times a week over the course of the last month I find myself bringing up the subject that I at one time had Fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is a very debilitating syndrome with muscle pain throughout the entire body. I began to realize that I was being haunted. If you think about it what does being haunted mean? Isn't it being harassed by the spirit of someone (or something) who (that) has died?

I may have had Fibromyalgia, but I was healed from it by the power of God through a healing service. I haven't had it since that time over 13 or 14 years ago. Yet every time I have an aching muscle or even go in for a massage I allow it to haunt me. I speak of it as if it may be lurking somewhere in this house which is my body.

I began to think about what other "spirits" I have allowed to haunt me. What parts of the "old man" that were put to death in Jesus Christ, do I have wandering the halls of my mind, harassing my thoughts. I think its time to take account and exorcise those "spirits" and be free from their influence. What's dead is dead and it is the truth of Jesus' victory over death, over sin, and his rightful authority over disease - it is this truth that sets me free.

Compare - Compete - Compassion

What brings me to these three words? I have been working through an injury the last few months and I have noticed how people respond to my situation, and in turn, how I respond to their response.

We, in general, have learned that we should have compassion for those who are hurting or less fortunate than ourselves. But how do we express that? In my experience it looks like comparison. I say I'm on light duty because of tendinitis and you say I have had that, or I have this or that. And what was meant to be compassion now feels like competition. And what does competition do? Now I have to be on the offence, or on the defense, and  all I really want is to be done with the stupid pain and get back to taking my health for granted.

I think I must add a fourth "c" - Complain! So now that I feel I'm in a competition as to who has it the worst, I must begin the "woe-is-me" saga and with it be labeled a whiner. I therefore have lost the competition altogether and am feeling alone and unsatisfied.

I'm not sure I know how to get compassion, let alone how to give compassion. I'm sure I will learn. In the meantime I will try to suffer quietly and not complain. I know I've exaggerated slightly just to reveal the feelings behind the words, but I'm guessing you may know what I mean.

To Breathe

Genesis 2:7

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁷ Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.

John 20:22

New Living Translation (NLT)

²² Then he (Jesus) breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit."

Inspire comes from a Latin word that means to breathe into, or simply to breathe. So we are born inspired and we are reborn inspired. We are inspired from God and by God.

Here I am, Lord, at your feet,

Breathing in the life you've given.

Breath of God, breath of life, 

Reaching deep within my being.

All your glory set before me,

With awe and wonder I am stricken.

All my heart and soul I give you,

Holy Spirit, gift of heaven.

(http://www.biblegateway.com - I use this webpage for looking up scripture, it is an invaluable tool.)