The Realness of God

I was sitting in church after having missed three Sundays, thinking about how distant I felt from God, and how many struggles I had been facing. The songs we were singing about His greatness, His power, His glory, I had sung many times and truly felt them but this day, did I really believe it? So I began to pray. Somehow I had managed to allow my own weakness, my own doubts to diminish my view of Gods abilities. The measure of my current faith does not change Gods nature. He is God Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth. omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. My inability to know everything about Him and His ways doesn't make Him small, illusive, reclusive or even fictitious. He is knowable and I believe it is my own distraction that  prevents me from feeling His loving presence and His desire to be present in my life. Maybe I have been focusing too much on the negative spaces, the shadows, that I forget God is alive and active and willing. I do feel I am in a rut. I lack direction, motivation, joy, and a positive attitude. I find myself wanting to hide, to disconnect and just be free of stress; but what I'm finding is I don't come to any resolution, I just feel stagnant and bitter.So understanding that my minuscule faith does not diminish Gods ability, I will plant my "mustard seed" size faith and know He is able to grow it!